“Tringgggg……” Once again the ringtone of my phone bangs my ears killing my heavenly sleep on a cold lazy afternoon. I try searching my phone with all possible efforts and with my eyes half open I see a unknown number calling me. I try ignoring but then I realize this isn’t some unknown number, I feel strong sense of someone known calling me, I know this time that its someone and again the surprises sprang up as usual killing my sleep
“Hello Miss Pinky” Says a gentle male voice.
“Umm yes but who is this?” I ask out of utter curiosity.
“I knew you would forget me and my voice, I feel ashamed of everything I did to you.”
By now my BP shoots up and my sleep hangover leaves my body completely. “Excuse me please but I really want to know who you are and what are you upto?” I ask cluelessly.
“Pinks, don’t you remember me its Josh”
By now I sprang up from my bed and with the name Josh I have hell lot of memories related with. It takes me few seconds to realize that it was not a dream it was Josh, the guy who never spoke to a single girl in the school! About Josh he was a tall, thin and the most handsome guy in the school. I remember rumours of girls slitting their wrist just to convince him for their love but Josh was a serious guy so serious that he never spoke to a single girl in the school; his fascination was maths, sports and hanging around with the guy friends. His IQ and intelligence was too high and he had the looks that would stop a clock! A pulchrous beauty that had the capability of alluring any teenager’s mind.
I try coming back to the reality and try hard to realize why did he call me after such a long time….
“Hello ,you still angry? You should be, but please speak something”
“I am sorry Josh I was lost somewhere, into the memories”
“Oh! so now that you are back to the reality can we talk?”
“Yes Josh, OMG!!Where on the earth are you? It’s been 7 odd years where are you man? You went completely out of touch”
“I am in Mumbai now and I will be shifting to England in 3 days of time”
Josh did his robotics and wanted to pursue a full fledged career in that. He got a lucrative offer in a reputed firm and was working there from offshore and now the firm wants him permanently over there and Josh is all set for a new change in life.
We talk for a while and then Josh tells me something much to my chagrin!!
“So what’s next Josh?”
“Pinks my purpose of calling you wasn’t to enquire about your whereabouts’. There is something else I need to say”
“What is it Josh”
“Pinky I moving in with a guy in Birmingham”
“Okay that’s great”
“Do you get the seriousness or not”
“What’s the big deal about it?”
“I meant I am moving in with a Guy whom I am in Love madly. And I am saying this to you because we share a bond that has remained special for years and it got clumsy because of a girl from your class. Well past is past. Now that I have spilled the beans to you hope you got why this call was so important and the reason was I wanted you to know this because you are one among those special people in my life whom I am breaking the news to and I can’t expect everyone to understand this. Do you get it or not?”
My whole world starts spinning around. Is Josh a gay? Josh was the most handsome guy in the school, no! I am thinking too much. Josh is Indian he can’t be a gay. What! cant Indians be gay. There are many Indian men who are gay. Josh had the aura that any women would get herself killed to get a guy like him. Now I am clueless totally I think Josh is joking around and before I ask him anything Josh speaks again.
“I know this is all madness to you. Trust me I never had any interest towards any kind of women in life. I had many crushes on the boys from our batch I felt weird I was scared in the beginning I tried fighting this fear but then I felt this was right & this is the real me I wanted to be open about my sexuality and wanted to tell you this in the very first stance but then Arti came up and screwed things and then we all fell apart. I lost your contact I got busy making my career. I was seeing many men but most of them were not ready to accept me openly in front of others. Then this project from England came up and there I met this project manager who is everything and anything I could ask for. I fell for him in the first meeting. I knew he wasn’t straight. So I was careful and I didn’t want to lose a sweetheart like him. I started seeing him. I was very careful as I had to be aware of our work ethics. Then the frequent visits to England added more light between us. We finally started dating each other and then my position here has become permanent and I am moving in with him. I am planning to marry him by year end and he is very keen in starting a family with me and adopt a baby girl. We both are financially sound and I don’t think there would be a problem in adoption. Very soon I am going to speak to my family on this and they got to accept my sexual orientation. I know this will be hard on them but TIME is the best healer. I am sorry for not being in touch with you all this while. But you were the only girl whom I loved talking about my problems and then Arti messed up things between us. By now you must have realized why I turned down Arti and other girls.”
I hear all this and I am in terrible state of shock. I didn’t want to judge Josh again. Josh was a great friend of mine. Our friendship wasn’t a show off material. It was pure and we were around during the grim moments of time. Arti was my classmate and she loved him dearly and did anything to win him over and I supported Arti’s efforts to pursue Josh’s love. Things turned ugly when Josh found out that I was encouraging Arti to get closer to him. Josh blasted me one day and we fought verbally, I thought Josh had attitude and was acting psycho. Our friendship met the dead end and it died there. I wasn’t bothered why and what went wrong. Our lives got busy so badly that turning back and asking things about this never crossed my mind. Josh was still in touch with me over messenger but the fight created too much distance between us that we didn’t share anything deep and neither was I interested to know what he was going through. But I am again lucky and glad that I got answers now. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
I didn’t want to lose Josh again I muster up all my strength before I feel that the phone would drop from my ears.
“Josh don’t worry I am around. Chuck the world. I know it’s hard for me to digest but I am proud that you made it to this moment to say the truth to me. I don’t understand what and how you got into this but as your old pal I respect your decision. If only you had told me we wouldn’t have fought this bad and remained strangers. I am happy you found your love finally…….”
We talk for hours and I turn enigmatic and divulge into more details. I kind of feel happy. Love is blind and I saw that in him. In Josh’s case I see that he was patient enough to find love. He knew he was gay but he definitely wanted someone who could not just date him but accept him and the relationship with open arms in front of the world. Josh is lucky he found one such man! I have no qualms about this.
It was hard for me to accept the truth and all I understood that being homosexual wasn’t any disease but it was his decision and he knew what he was doing.
We all are bought up with the fact that Men and Women should and must fall in love. That’s how God has engineered the love between the two genders. But not all of them I see are genuine and there is difference of opinions existing even between them. Love is blind and when you are in love nothing seems right and wrong. It is one such feel that even makes you forgive the ones that hurt you. And now all I see Josh’s love so pure, so true and so genuine. But this isn’t the end of Josh’s love. In a country like India where homosexuality is not just taboo but a huge sin as we still believe in the union of Man and Women for the next 7 births. Josh knows that this will shake his family’s happiness and disappoint them to the core and as he said TIME is the best healer of all. Josh is a pure example of how blind a love can turn and his is a complete story of acceptance of individual no matter what he is. He knows he will make it and a long lost pal like me can do nothing but stand by his decision and give him the shoulder he wants. And it is said that Gays can be the best kind of friends for Women!! And I am proud that Josh is a gay and me his best buddy forever.
I am happy Josh’s conversation changed something in me, something in us & something in our friendship forever!!